My moment of realization.

  

My moment of realization- the moment I was eagerly craving to experience as a little girl, after I watched my grandfather and all the amazing souls in sangat talk about Nirankar with that sparkle in their eye, staring into nothingness. I always used to meet their gaze and wonder what they were looking at; I wanted that sparkle too. I remember I was 10 when I asked My grandfather to show me how to see Nirankar and how to see what He saw.   

“With time, you’ll see. Just pray and ask and He will reveal Himself to you when you are ready.”

So I waited. I waited several years. I constantly took the God Realization every moment and opportunity that came my way, hoping that it would just click, that I would receive and experience my moment of realization. But I failed to understand; Every single time. Such a simple thing, but it is so hard for me to grasp; It is so powerful, beyond the comprehension of my limited and little knowledge. I truly believe that with Grace, it is within us to make the effort to unveil our blindfolds and take the first step on the journey that takes us to Him. Some realize in the beginning, others realize after many chapters in life. I came to understand after many stops and bumpy roads, which now He revealed to me as beautiful blessings in disguise.

It took me 10 years to understand that this realization and that ‘click’ I was waiting for, wasn’t just a moment in my life. They were and are moment’s, which I am constantly experiencing throughout this beautiful journey of this existence. I constantly prayed for Him to reveal Himself to me in a moment and He revealed and continues to reveal himself to me in MOMENTS; its me who fails to see. Forever leaves me in a complete overwhelmed state of awe and gratitude. 

To all souls in my life who have and continue to guide me, show me, and reveal Him;

I am forever indebted to you.

My moment of realization was when I was in pain and asked You to heal me. It was when woke up the next morning with a state of pure contentment and bliss. 

My moment of realization was when I understood after several years that You never test us because You don’t play games, You are all knowing.

My moment of realization was when I realized that its not the creation that adds to your beauty, Its Your aura that is hidden and exists within every flower.  

My moment of realization was when I was worried that this lifetime would be too short in being with You; and you offered me eternity in the palm of your hand.

My moment of realization is when I have conversations with You through one of your Gursikh’s and I feel like I am floating.

My moment of realization was when I realized that heaven isn’t a destination, it’s a state of being, with You; heaven is here.

My moment of realization was when I looked at the vast joining of the ocean and sky in front of me; There is no end to You.

My moment of realization was when my heart discovered that there was something more than what my physical eyes could see.

My moment of realization was when I looked into the eyes of a person and listened to them answer my questions I asked You.

My moment of realization was when I realized that everything I treasured and was attached to was just a temporary illusion.

My moment of realization was when I realized that every obstacle I’ve been through in life brought me back to You.

My moment of realization is when I watch Your gursikhs dance with their eyes closed, as tears roll down their face; Oh what your love does to us.

My moment of realization is when You reveal Your essence in every essence.

The moment of realization is when I wake up to another day, alive and smiling.

My moment of realization is when I watch how you beautifully speak and shine your light through your creation.

The moment of realization was when I realized how many times I have failed You, and still Your mercy remains.

The moment of realization is when I realize my worth and nothingness, and smile knowing everything is and was done by You and You only; I am capable of nothing.

My moment of realization was when I stopped questioning because I realized my understanding is very weak and limited, but not your Power and Will.

My moment of realization was when I realized I am an empty shell, filled with nothing but Your light; flawlessly healing and mending me.

My moment of realization was when I asked You to take me into your abode, and You brought me to myself.

My moment of realization was when I learned to love myself, for I was never I; Just a mere unworthy vessel that holds your light.

My moment of realization is when I have that heavy urge to drop everything, to run by your side forever; for dedicating my entire life singing your glory is how I want to live.

My moment of realization was where you tightly squeezed my hand, giving me a look that gave me enough strength to overcome all obstacles life had to offer me, with open arms.

The moment of realization is when I see what love is, as you sacrifice sleep to watch us smile and dance. 

My moment of realization was when You told me to stop reminding myself to look for You, because I am You; You are me.

My moment of realization is right now; as I am smiling, reading, and recalling at all of these beautiful moments understanding that this is what I came here for. 

My moment of realization was when I questioned why something was being taken away from me and You placed the stars of your light at the doorstep to my heart.

My moment of realization is when You hold me, forever making me feel protected and loved in Your embrace.

My moment of realization is when You show me that I am not this body or I am not this mind; I am not from or for this worldly life. 

My moment of realization was when it took me moving to the other side of the world to realize, Wherever I go is home, because You carry me and I carry You.

My moment of realization is now, realizing that the more I realize, the more I understand how very little I know; How very behind I am. 

My moments of realization began and will end with You. 

Every moment I have until my last, I want it to be nothing but full of Your beautiful Grace and ehsaas.

My existence was formed and created by You to allow me to meet and experience You as You.

So here’s an eternity more of moments with You Nirankar,

Into nothingness, 

Together, we merge.

N.